Sunday, 23 September 2007

another day

camellia stamen

thank you so much, each and every one of you who left me thoughtful and supportive comments and emails today. i've been trying to not dwell on the baby attempts here too much but when you're posting every day, i guess you've got to be true to what you're feeling. and i'm feeling bad. sad. let down. deflated. but still hopeful. and sick of hoping all at the same time. for anyone who's walking into this conversation feeling like they missed something, i posted about this ongoing drama first here, then here, here and here, if you want to get caught up. (sorry, i was going to write out a short version but just can't face rehashing it at the minute.)

i did have a great day though, thanks to lovely support from you guys over breakfast, followed by coffee with the delightful dana and her cutey, mahlie. then i did a bit of very successful thrift shopping which always lifts my spirits a bit! even though i had to fight down the guilt at bringing more things into the house when it's such a disaster. sometimes, however, there are treasures you just can't leave behind, and japanese mugs with a danish style design, cheap pure linen and vintage fabrics all make that list with me.

8 comments:

  1. thinking of you... let me know if you want to catch up next weekend, i'm free - and i have an understanding ear... (or my bambinos could just supply a delightful distraction)

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  2. I admire your strength Leslie to share so openly what's close to your heart. Retail therapy is one of the many things a girl should do to help her "heart sing" surrounding yourself with things that lift your spirit is a positive affair and one that should be indulged in without guilt. (wasted energy) Indulge onegirl!

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  3. Hi there! I've been reading your blog for a bit - you write beautifully! I'm sorry to hear about the trying with no luck - I feel like I've been through many of your feelings and had mild endometriosis which may/may not cause sub-fertility. Anyway, after using the OPK and timing it just right, we did get preg after 1 yr (didn't work out unfortunately and I miscarried but I was very relieved to know I could get pregnant at all). I know it's so hard to be patient but it's worth making the dietary sacrifices etc now because then you'll be in great shape and ready for your surprise when it happens, as I'm sure it will! All my best wishes for you..

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  4. Another beautiful image & post Leslie. Be good to yourself.

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  5. So sorry to hear you're having difficulties conceiving. It sounds like you're doing all the right things re diet and exercise- sometimes though the only other thing to do is to take the pressure off yourself, and try not to be obsessed by it. Hard to do I know.

    Personally my husband thinks the only reason we conceived (I was 35 at the time) was because we were on our honeymoon and I was relaxed. Are you still planning on going on that holiday in October? Go- relax, soak up the surroundings (Broome is gorgeous) and enjoy yourselves ;)

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  6. hi.
    i just wanted to encourage you ....somehow.
    we struggled pretty hard with 7 years of infertility. All i can say is keep the faith. Your family will be complete at the exact right time.
    bless you!

    if your up for it...you can read more about our struggles here
    www.sammibag.typepad.com
    I started blogging during some difficult infertility times. If you start in the archives at the beginning...you can feel the pain coming off your screen.

    May you be bless with peace and joy through this difficult time
    loves
    stephanie

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  7. Oh Leslie!
    I just ache for you. It's much worse when it seems like every 3rd person you see around looks preggers too.

    I think there's always a cosmic reason for these things - maybe you need more money now, and you'll be able to cut down on your working in a year or so and enjoy a baby fully then without worrying about money.

    Keep your chin up. It will come when the time is right and you don't need it so badly (tough, but seems to be true).

    Big hugs to you sweet girl.oxo

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  8. Just wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you and above all else - never give up hope :-)

    I have found what Stephanie said above to be true: "Your family will be complete at the exact right time."

    Hugs.

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